{"title":"Off-Duty Philosophers","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSix of history's most influential thinkers. One grey cardigan. Zero answers to your actual problems.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThe Off-Duty Philosophers Collection imagines the people who built Western and Eastern thought the way they would've been if they'd been forced to sit through a status meeting — in a cardigan, in loafers, holding a coffee mug, quietly suspecting that none of this is going as planned.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eSocrates knowing nothing. Marcus Aurelius working on himself. Nietzsche declaring everything dead. Descartes too tired to think. Plato comparing your coffee to its perfect Form. Confucius reluctantly delivering the only quote you know him for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003ePick the philosopher whose week you're having.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"i-know-nothing-funny-socrates-coffee-mug","title":"I Know Nothing — Funny Socrates Coffee Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHe invented Western philosophy. He taught Plato, who taught Aristotle, who taught Alexander the Great. He was sentenced to death for asking too many questions. And his entire philosophical position can be summarized in three words.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis 11oz ceramic mug features Socrates in his off-hours uniform — cardigan, loafers, beard fully untamed, book tucked under his arm — the founding father of Western thought finally admitting what every meeting attendee has been thinking: \u003cem\u003eI Know Nothing.\u003c\/em\u003e It was right the whole time.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDrink your coffee. Question everything. Survive your Monday.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePart of the Off-Duty Philosophers Collection — where history's greatest thinkers finally admit they were just winging it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Microwave-safe for reheating drinks and soups\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Dishwasher-safe for easy, everyday cleaning\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Vibrant, long-lasting color reproduction\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Glossy white ceramic with comfortable C-handle\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Available in 11oz and 15oz; lead- and BPA-free\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Clean in dishwasher or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":49792259981552,"sku":"23900499021111109094","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0827\/4133\/0160\/files\/14182514048530583217_2048.jpg?v=1780437001"},{"product_id":"working-on-myself-funny-marcus-aurelius-coffee-mug","title":"Working On Myself — Funny Marcus Aurelius Coffee Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHe ruled the largest empire on Earth. He led Roman legions in battle. He survived a plague, a civil war, and the entire concept of being a teenager with absolute power. And he spent his evenings writing self-help notes in a journal he never meant to publish.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis 11oz ceramic mug features Marcus Aurelius in his off-hours uniform — cardigan, loafers, journal tucked under his arm, two thousand years of unresolved feelings — the most powerful man in the Western world finally saying what every burned-out high-achiever has been thinking: \u003cem\u003eWorking On Myself.\u003c\/em\u003e Always.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDrink your coffee. Journal about it. Survive your Monday.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePart of the Off-Duty Philosophers Collection — where history's greatest thinkers finally admit they were just winging it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Microwave-safe for reheating beverages and soups\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Dishwasher-safe for easy cleaning\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Vibrant, high-resolution color printing\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Glossy white ceramic with comfortable C-handle\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Available in 11oz; lead- and BPA-free\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Clean in dishwasher or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":49794953609456,"sku":"30448376246917200154","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0827\/4133\/0160\/files\/6166439744433792313_2048.jpg?v=1780494217"},{"product_id":"god-is-dead-funny-friedrich-nietzsche-coffee-mug","title":"God Is Dead — Funny Friedrich Nietzsche Coffee Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHe declared the death of God. He invented the Übermensch. He wrote ten of the most influential books in Western philosophy. He also collapsed in a Turin street in 1889, weeping while hugging a horse, and never wrote a coherent sentence again.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis 11oz ceramic mug features Friedrich Nietzsche in his off-hours uniform — cardigan, loafers, mustache locked and loaded — the most quotable misanthrope in Western thought delivering the line that launched a thousand undergraduate philosophy crises: \u003cem\u003eGod Is Dead.\u003c\/em\u003e The footnote is even worse.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDrink your coffee. Stare into the abyss. Survive your Monday.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePart of the Off-Duty Philosophers Collection — where history's greatest thinkers finally admit they were just winging it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Microwave-safe for reheating drinks and soups\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Dishwasher-safe for easy, everyday cleaning\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Vibrant, long-lasting color prints on glossy ceramic\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Two sizes available: 11 oz and 15 oz\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Lead- and BPA-free with a comfortable C-handle\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Clean in dishwasher or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":49795157623024,"sku":"14613180518709784679","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0827\/4133\/0160\/files\/17468735099022223871_2048.jpg?v=1780500645"},{"product_id":"i-think-therefore-im-tired-funny-rene-descartes-coffee-mug","title":"I Think. Therefore I'm Tired. — Funny René Descartes Coffee Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHe invented modern philosophy. He invented analytic geometry. He laid the groundwork for the scientific method. He also famously refused to get out of bed before noon, and died at age 53 because Queen Christina of Sweden made him take 5am meetings.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis 11oz ceramic mug features René Descartes in his off-hours uniform — cardigan, loafers, hair untouched, quill at the ready — the father of modern thought finally admitting what his entire life implied: \u003cem\u003eI Think. Therefore I'm Tired.\u003c\/em\u003e The two are connected.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDrink your coffee. Doubt everything. Survive your Monday.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePart of the Off-Duty Philosophers Collection — where history's greatest thinkers finally admit they were just winging it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Microwave-safe for quick reheats\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Dishwasher-safe for easy cleaning\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Vibrant, long-lasting color printing\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Glossy, durable white ceramic finish\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Available in 11oz and 15oz with comfortable C-handle\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Clean in dishwasher or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":49795199336688,"sku":"27248539571463181495","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0827\/4133\/0160\/files\/3576234797691855741_2048.jpg?v=1780500851"},{"product_id":"its-not-ideal-funny-plato-coffee-mug","title":"It's Not Ideal — Funny Plato Coffee Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHe invented Western political philosophy. He founded the Academy, the world's first university. He wrote The Republic, Symposium, and twenty-five other dialogues that scholars are still arguing about 2,400 years later. And his entire worldview boils down to one quietly devastating concession: nothing in the material world quite measures up.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis 11oz ceramic mug features Plato in his off-hours uniform — cardigan, loafers, beard neatly groomed, scroll in hand — the student who outshined Socrates delivering the most polite philosophical complaint ever phrased: \u003cem\u003eIt's Not Ideal.\u003c\/em\u003e It's literally never ideal. That's the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDrink your coffee. Compare it to the Form. Survive your Monday.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePart of the Off-Duty Philosophers Collection — where history's greatest thinkers finally admit they were just winging it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Microwave-safe ceramic for reheating drinks quickly\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Dishwasher-safe finish for easy cleaning\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Vibrant, long-lasting print colors on glossy white ceramic\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Available in two sizes: 11 oz and 15 oz with a comfortable C-handle\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Lead- and BPA-free for daily, confident use\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Clean in dishwasher or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":49795252191472,"sku":"39787291534304955196","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0827\/4133\/0160\/files\/14500171911726254549_2048.jpg?v=1780510154"},{"product_id":"confucius-say-tgif-funny-confucius-coffee-mug","title":"Confucius Say: TGIF — Funny Confucius Coffee Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHe systematized ethics 2,500 years before there was a word for it. He produced the Analects, a book that has shaped East Asian moral philosophy for 75 generations and counting. He never said a single thing that started with \"Confucius say.\" Americans invented that.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis 11oz ceramic mug features Confucius in his off-hours uniform — cardigan, loafers, beard at full sage length, calligraphy brush in hand — the original wise teacher reluctantly delivering the only line he is now culturally obligated to deliver: \u003cem\u003eConfucius Say: TGIF.\u003c\/em\u003e He didn't say that either. But it's Friday.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDrink your coffee. Pursue virtue. Survive your Monday.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePart of the Off-Duty Philosophers Collection — where history's greatest thinkers finally admit they were just winging it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Microwave-safe for quick reheats\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Dishwasher-safe for easy cleaning\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Vibrant, durable color printing\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Glossy white ceramic with comfortable C-handle\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Available in 11oz and 15oz; lead- and BPA-free\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Clean in dishwasher or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":49795989176560,"sku":"29267057826793254203","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0827\/4133\/0160\/files\/7322869258962301431_2048.jpg?v=1780510454"}],"url":"https:\/\/getshtickers.com\/collections\/off-duty-philosophers.oembed","provider":"Shticker","version":"1.0","type":"link"}